Monominquam is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, proud armadillo.

Monominquam created the planet Venus seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Monominquam, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Monominquam, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Monominquam's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Monominquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always help sick aardvarks.

3. Never jump near nematodes.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not take Monominquam's name in vain.