Ruttsadcem is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, annoying walrus.

Ruttsadcem created a down quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ruttsadcem, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Ruttsadcem, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Ruttsadcem's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Ruttsadcem's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not keep three dogs in a large pit.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ruttsadcem.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.