Zoglanwot is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, resourceful whale.

Zoglanwot created time and space two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zoglanwot, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Zoglanwot, he will remove you from existence.

Zoglanwot's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Zoglanwot's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with cyan.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. Do not hurt eagles.

4. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.

5. Never think about dark matter.