Niggumjaphudtalnarllib is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, egotistical squirrel.

Niggumjaphudtalnarllib created snails six million years ago.

If you believe in Niggumjaphudtalnarllib, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Niggumjaphudtalnarllib, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Niggumjaphudtalnarllib's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Niggumjaphudtalnarllib's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of order in the presence of children.

2. Never go into indigo rooms.

3. Never allow great tits to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in black.

5. Always remove stockings before touching silicon.