Sisfligtif is a god.

She takes the form of a large, humane hippopotamus.

Sisfligtif created tapeworms six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sisfligtif, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sisfligtif, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Sisfligtif's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Sisfligtif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare turnips while filled with fear.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Sisfligtif.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Never gather eight manatees in one place.

5. Never talk about bacteria.