Fetxenfum is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, generous otter.

Fetxenfum created the planet Earth five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fetxenfum, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fetxenfum, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Fetxenfum's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Fetxenfum's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in winter.

2. Never feed apples to ducks while wearing white shorts.

3. Do not speak about onions.

4. Never think about nucleic acids.

5. Never play with disobedient children.