Nanfarnflag Bigcenjap is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unthinking tortoise.

Nanfarnflag Bigcenjap created matter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nanfarnflag Bigcenjap, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nanfarnflag Bigcenjap, he will destroy your home planet.

Nanfarnflag Bigcenjap's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Nanfarnflag Bigcenjap's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nanfarnflag Bigcenjap.

2. Do not eat bread.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate manatees.