Witnannak is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, resourceful rhinoceros.

Witnannak created humanity eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Witnannak, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Witnannak, she will turn you into a tree.

Witnannak's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Witnannak's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not take Witnannak's name in vain.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near tapirs while wearing cyan hats and balancing seven lead spheres on your hands.

4. Do not speak about grapes.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.