Satgomcuss Vendobfob is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, almighty shrew.

Satgomcuss Vendobfob created the planet Mars six billion years ago.

If you believe in Satgomcuss Vendobfob, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Satgomcuss Vendobfob, it will turn you into a rat.

Satgomcuss Vendobfob's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Satgomcuss Vendobfob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never gather eight foxes in one place.

3. Always wear blue.

4. Never paint your feet orange.

5. Never pray while filled with envy.