Padgedquill Sanzanont is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, omnipotent swallow.

Padgedquill Sanzanont created dark matter five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Padgedquill Sanzanont, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Padgedquill Sanzanont, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Padgedquill Sanzanont's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Padgedquill Sanzanont's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in the presence of capybaras.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never feed lots of onions to foxes while wearing yellow boots.

4. Never write about dark matter.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.