Larpyatkom is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, calm clam.

Larpyatkom created dark matter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larpyatkom, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Larpyatkom, it will turn you into a puffin.

Larpyatkom's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Larpyatkom's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Larpyatkom.

2. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Larpyatkom.

4. Never wear hats.

5. Never eat melons on fasting days.