Quatyamtal is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, annoying mouse.

Quatyamtal created bats three billion years ago.

If you believe in Quatyamtal, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Quatyamtal, she will remove you from existence.

Quatyamtal's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Quatyamtal's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics near rats while wearing turquoise hats and balancing three lead spheres on your legs.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never handle silicon while unclean.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching gold.