Lopsabaf is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, fussy bee.

Lopsabaf created the universe six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lopsabaf, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lopsabaf, he will make you grow a tail.

Lopsabaf's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Lopsabaf's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from orange turtles for they are unholy.

2. Do not hurt ducks.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never think about quantum field theory near sheep while wearing purple scarves and balancing five zinc spheres on your feet.