Cutwadgut is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, narcissistic owl.

Cutwadgut created the Black Eye Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cutwadgut, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Cutwadgut, he will manifest in front of you.

Cutwadgut's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Cutwadgut's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a room before entering it.

3. Erect nine copper sculptures of Cutwadgut on top of important buildings.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always wear magenta.