Nigmobsand is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, all-knowing crocodile.

Nigmobsand created a charm quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nigmobsand, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nigmobsand, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Nigmobsand's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Nigmobsand's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

2. Never eat aubergines.

3. Nigmobsand loves geese, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

5. You must never eat lentils.