Nurzakham is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, cheerful gorilla.

Nurzakham created bats eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurzakham, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Nurzakham, he will turn you into a mouse.

Nurzakham's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Nurzakham's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick manatees.

2. Nurzakham loves voles, so they must be honoured.

3. Retreat if five mice approach from the west.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.