Panlenster is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, charitable rhinoceros.

Panlenster created oxygen seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Panlenster, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Panlenster, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Panlenster's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Panlenster's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about coconuts.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. You must pray to Panlenster nine times a day.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always store onions above ground.