Latjabcuss Hughoghimwonfigvograp is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, idiotic turtle.

Latjabcuss Hughoghimwonfigvograp created matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Latjabcuss Hughoghimwonfigvograp, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Latjabcuss Hughoghimwonfigvograp, she will turn you into a worm.

Latjabcuss Hughoghimwonfigvograp's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Latjabcuss Hughoghimwonfigvograp's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Never wear red trousers.

5. Always obey Latjabcuss Hughoghimwonfigvograp's priests.