Hotqueegnell is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, quiet hamster.

Hotqueegnell created tapeworms nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotqueegnell, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Hotqueegnell, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Hotqueegnell's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Hotqueegnell's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven titanium sculptures of Hotqueegnell on top of important buildings.

2. Never think about photosynthesis.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.