Wonvongid Padfiddit is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, uncaring centaur.

Wonvongid Padfiddit created a quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Wonvongid Padfiddit, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Wonvongid Padfiddit, he will send you a sign.

Wonvongid Padfiddit's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Wonvongid Padfiddit's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics near goats while wearing indigo skirts and balancing eight carbon spheres on your face.

2. Never write about quantum mechanics.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Wonvongid Padfiddit.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never talk about galaxies.