Xintinflyvid is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, benevolent seal.

Xintinflyvid created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Xintinflyvid, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Xintinflyvid, she will turn you into a hamster.

Xintinflyvid's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Xintinflyvid's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Xintinflyvid.

2. Never talk about photosynthesis.

3. Never go into black rooms.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. You must pray to Xintinflyvid seven times a day.