Pidlopjopstigrag is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, unselfish crocodile.

Pidlopjopstigrag created the planet Earth four years ago.

If you believe in Pidlopjopstigrag, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pidlopjopstigrag, he will turn you into a worm.

Pidlopjopstigrag's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Pidlopjopstigrag's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Pidlopjopstigrag's priests.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Hide from green doves for they are unholy.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Erect nine lead sculptures of Pidlopjopstigrag on top of important buildings.