Honkimfet Flabtadbam is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, caring cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Honkimfet Flabtadbam created vertebrates nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Honkimfet Flabtadbam, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Honkimfet Flabtadbam, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Honkimfet Flabtadbam's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Honkimfet Flabtadbam's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Feed all hungry foxes.