Teenbinmit is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, intelligent frog.

Teenbinmit created time and space eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Teenbinmit, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Teenbinmit, it will turn you into a frog.

Teenbinmit's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Teenbinmit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics near cats while wearing violet corsets and balancing four aluminium spheres on your face.

5. Put Teenbinmit first in all things.