Pigbedhab is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, capable lobster.

Pigbedhab created energy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Pigbedhab, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Pigbedhab, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Pigbedhab's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Pigbedhab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. You must pray to Pigbedhab seven times a day.

4. Never feed lots of lentils to hamsters while wearing yellow corsets.

5. Do not kill frogs.