Quilldumkan is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, happy yak.

Quilldumkan created parasitic wasps two years ago.

If you believe in Quilldumkan, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Quilldumkan, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Quilldumkan's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Quilldumkan's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven aardvarks approach from the south.

2. Do not take Quilldumkan's name in vain.

3. Never talk about chromosomes.

4. Quilldumkan must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not chop down trees.