Tampitbug Fodcitvil is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, overgenerous beaver.

Tampitbug Fodcitvil created the Virgo Supercluster three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tampitbug Fodcitvil, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Tampitbug Fodcitvil, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Tampitbug Fodcitvil's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Tampitbug Fodcitvil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always help whales.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never talk about planets.