Quimloggemflatsidcet is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, astonishing badger.

Quimloggemflatsidcet created the world eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Quimloggemflatsidcet, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Quimloggemflatsidcet, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Quimloggemflatsidcet's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Quimloggemflatsidcet's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never skip near grasshopers.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Quimloggemflatsidcet in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not listen to music.