Vigrulbat is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, generous dove.

Vigrulbat created an up quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vigrulbat, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Vigrulbat, she will curse you with boils.

Vigrulbat's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Vigrulbat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep nine badgers in a large pit.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never sprint near dolphins.

5. Never eat bananas.