Jabflyquag is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, bad-tempered turtle.

Jabflyquag created snails five million years ago.

If you believe in Jabflyquag, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Jabflyquag, it will be very sad.

Jabflyquag's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Jabflyquag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never paint your back turquoise.

3. Never whisper while facing south.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not gather at bridges at midday.