Shavflisgan is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, self-confident penguin.

Shavflisgan created vertebrates eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Shavflisgan, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Shavflisgan, he will turn you into a rock.

Shavflisgan's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Shavflisgan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Foxes are not to be trusted.