Koncinbag is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, all-powerful goat.

Koncinbag created water two million years ago.

If you believe in Koncinbag, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Koncinbag, it will think nothing of it.

Koncinbag's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Koncinbag's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine zinc sculptures of Koncinbag on top of important buildings.

2. Retreat if three great tits approach from the north.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate cats.