Yarpasnartdan Kabsindap is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, staggering hydra.

Yarpasnartdan Kabsindap created the cosmos five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarpasnartdan Kabsindap, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Yarpasnartdan Kabsindap, he will boil you in a big pot.

Yarpasnartdan Kabsindap's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Yarpasnartdan Kabsindap's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always help snails in need.

4. Do not wear red clothing.

5. Always maintain obedience during days of mourning.