Lankikapp is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, benevolent swallow.

Lankikapp created Europe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Lankikapp, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Lankikapp, he will turn you into a mole.

Lankikapp's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Lankikapp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

2. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.

3. Always help sick badgers.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Lankikapp.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.