Nuttxucvonkpib Zoglogfab Omtbestbarn is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, temperamental jaguar.

Nuttxucvonkpib Zoglogfab Omtbestbarn created the planet Jupiter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttxucvonkpib Zoglogfab Omtbestbarn, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nuttxucvonkpib Zoglogfab Omtbestbarn, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Nuttxucvonkpib Zoglogfab Omtbestbarn's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Nuttxucvonkpib Zoglogfab Omtbestbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. You must love Nuttxucvonkpib Zoglogfab Omtbestbarn.

3. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Nuttxucvonkpib Zoglogfab Omtbestbarn in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never wear shoes.

5. You must never eat corn.