Nartfundad Bassbogmet Cudpagtim is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, passionate bee.

Nartfundad Bassbogmet Cudpagtim created tapeworms five million years ago.

If you believe in Nartfundad Bassbogmet Cudpagtim, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nartfundad Bassbogmet Cudpagtim, it will curse you with boils.

Nartfundad Bassbogmet Cudpagtim's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Nartfundad Bassbogmet Cudpagtim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair green.

2. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Nartfundad Bassbogmet Cudpagtim in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never feed grapes to pigs while wearing red shoes.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Always treat bats with great respect.