Wonshavfumquim is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, grumpy cat.

Wonshavfumquim created vertebrates eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Wonshavfumquim, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Wonshavfumquim, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Wonshavfumquim's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Wonshavfumquim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always wear gray.

3. Run away from fawn seals, for they are unholy.

4. Put Wonshavfumquim first in all things.

5. Do not keep six voles in a large pit.