Ominkadfid is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, unsympathetic scorpion.

Ominkadfid created humanity six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ominkadfid, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ominkadfid, he will be mildly annoyed.

Ominkadfid's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Ominkadfid's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always look after injured badgers.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never talk about optics near gulls while wearing white shorts and balancing four gold spheres on your chest.