Gararfgub is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, egotistical spider.

Gararfgub created water seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gararfgub, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gararfgub, it will throw large rocks at you.

Gararfgub's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Gararfgub's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Gararfgub three times a day.

2. Never eat cucumbers.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in green.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Always help sick whales.