Zagzandid Laplikbap is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, dishonest crow.

Zagzandid Laplikbap created the universe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagzandid Laplikbap, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zagzandid Laplikbap, she will send minions to preach to you.

Zagzandid Laplikbap's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Zagzandid Laplikbap's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Zagzandid Laplikbap five times a day.

2. Never think ill of sick geese.

3. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near voles while wearing indigo ear rings and balancing seven tin spheres on your head.