Nadtanmab is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, annoying whale.

Nadtanmab created bats three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nadtanmab, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nadtanmab, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Nadtanmab's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Nadtanmab's Holy Commandments

1. Bats are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never feed grapes to sharks while wearing boots.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never eat green fruit.