Stragomtlat is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, clever badger.

Stragomtlat created matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stragomtlat, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Stragomtlat, it will turn you into a hamster.

Stragomtlat's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Stragomtlat's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine manatees approach from the north.

2. Always remove stockings before entering holy places.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never tolerate cries in holy places.