Japratcibdan is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, selfish centipede.

Japratcibdan created snails five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Japratcibdan, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Japratcibdan, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Japratcibdan's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Japratcibdan's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare turnips during winter.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not kill monkeys.

4. Never gather eight dogs near wells.

5. Never eat apples.