Fumxemcat is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, witty wombat.

Fumxemcat created the planet Saturn three million years ago.

If you believe in Fumxemcat, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fumxemcat, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Fumxemcat's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Fumxemcat's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into fawn rooms.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always wear indigo.

4. Never talk about special relativity.

5. Never approach forests carrying stone.