Metflagrip is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, strong bear.

Metflagrip created the Cigar Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Metflagrip, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Metflagrip, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Metflagrip's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Metflagrip's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about enzymes.

2. Never sprint near snakes.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Feed all hungry tortoises.

5. Do not dye your hair black.