Timpondutyim is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, prudent mole.

Timpondutyim created an electron five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Timpondutyim, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Timpondutyim, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Timpondutyim's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Timpondutyim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair fawn.

2. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

4. Never write about quantum gravity.

5. Do not trade with those who eat corn.