Gofquilleg is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, passionate armadillo.

Gofquilleg created Asia three million years ago.

If you believe in Gofquilleg, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gofquilleg, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Gofquilleg's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Gofquilleg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your feet.

2. Never write about nebulae.

3. Never talk about special relativity near dogs while wearing gray boots and balancing eight copper spheres on your chest.

4. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.

5. Never talk about stars.