Gigjadvog Padpidraw is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, smart squid.

Gigjadvog Padpidraw created dark matter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gigjadvog Padpidraw, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gigjadvog Padpidraw, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Gigjadvog Padpidraw's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Gigjadvog Padpidraw's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force near shrews while wearing cyan hats and balancing three nickel spheres on your arms.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Gigjadvog Padpidraw.

4. Do not study ribonucleic acid on holy days.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.