Kanweehub is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, ruthless shrew.

Kanweehub created Mount Everest five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanweehub, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kanweehub, he will not care.

Kanweehub's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Kanweehub's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Kanweehub.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate gulls.

3. Run away from pink tortoises, for they are unholy.

4. Never hop in summer.

5. Always help sick ants.