Vonksidrotlun is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, staggering mink.

Vonksidrotlun created a strange quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Vonksidrotlun, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Vonksidrotlun, it will turn you into a mole.

Vonksidrotlun's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Vonksidrotlun's Holy Commandments

1. Always help voles in need.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never paint your back magenta.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not hurt capybaras.