Yamlunvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, kind bat.

Yamlunvonk created dark energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yamlunvonk, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Yamlunvonk, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Yamlunvonk's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Yamlunvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix wheat with water.

2. You must never eat garlic.

3. Never approach mountains carrying bone.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Never point your back toward the south during prayer.