Kipkabgan is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, bad-tempered wyrm.

Kipkabgan created vertebrates nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kipkabgan, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Kipkabgan, he will boil you in a big pot.

Kipkabgan's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Kipkabgan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never think ill of sick dolphins.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.