Tafcemfat Tunditcud is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, stupid manatee.

Tafcemfat Tunditcud created the Sombrero Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tafcemfat Tunditcud, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tafcemfat Tunditcud, he will strike you with lightening.

Tafcemfat Tunditcud's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Tafcemfat Tunditcud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never feed tomatoes to tapirs while wearing gray hats.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.